Trust - Word of the Year
At the beginning of each year, for the last few years, I pray and ask God what my word of the year is. This year, trust is the word that came to me. In my head, I know that I trust God. If someone were to ask if I trust God, my answer would be “yes, I do.”
The application of that trust is a different story. When I feel him nudging me in a direction, I repeatedly ask if it’s the right thing. There are days when walking by faith looks less like walking and more like tenative steps, unsure if I am able to do it.
Recently in prayer I realized that I don’t trust myself. As in, I doubt my own decision making. Since I started painting and selling watercolors in 2022/23, I set a goal of buying a high-quality printer and scanner to make my own prints.
Well, this week, when I was researching brands and types, I couldn’t decide which one. It felt like a major life decision. It felt like the anxiety that came with trying to decide on a college. I went back and forth.
I wrestled over whether a scanner would be better to start with, or if an art printer would be, or the option of a printer for stickers/greeting cards/business cards and such. I haven’t found a printer that would be well suited for all three.
I would have never guessed that trying to find out which printer/scanner I should purchase would lead me to a place where I am realizing that my decision-making skills need some improvement. It is fitting, because I did make a reel this past month about a quote that mentioned art is just learning to trust yourself again.
The lesson in trusting God- well, it is learned each day by praying for his will to come on earth as it is in heaven. All of the anxiety-inducing events of the day, week, month and year. I have been praying for his will to be done. In this prayer, I have found peace.
If you are wondering, I didn’t buy a printer or scanner yet. Instead, I signed up for another vendor event. Ha!
Hopefully the event turns out great and I can buy a printer or scanner or both after the event!